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Dear Catherine,
I'm in my early thirties, and I am intelligent and creative in certain
ways. I have always had a hard time finding work that I enjoy or
even knowing what I want to do. Earlier this year I was diagnosed
with bipolar disorder, which has really been a blow to my concept
about myself. I'm now on medication that seems to be helping, but
I'm really disheartened about my livelihood, particularly now that
I'm coping with this new reality about my mental health. Do you
have any words of advice? ~A.M.H., Portland, OR
Dear A.M.H.,
It is quite possible that once you have stabilized on your medication,
you will be able to return to normal functioning and work. I have
known many people who have bipolar disorder and can go from lives
of chaos (dissociation, hearing voices, unable to function) to lives
of high functioning and creative focus, with the help of their medication.
It is important to stay on the medication and to consult your doctor
about any changes. I have seen people relapse when they arbitrarily
get off their meds, thinking that they are perfectly fine (which
they seem to be while on medication). You should also not see this
as a cause for shame but rather think of it as something like having
diabetes and needing insulin to correct the imbalance. This is an
imbalance in your brain. We are lucky to live in a time when these
disorders can be treated through relatively mild means. All the
best to you. ~Catherine
Dear Catherine,
I have been re-reading a novel that I'd first read decades ago,
in my twenties, and am struck with how my perspective has changed.
Whereas back then I saw the heroine as a victim, I now perceive
her as having made a bad choice and passing up her one real chance
for a loving relationship in favor of a fantasy of something better
in the future. This brings up the sometimes difficult challenge
of living in the present moment, appreciating what is, versus striving
for what we think will make us happy in the future. I have sometimes
felt that I, too, have failed to appreciate the life I was living
and I strived for a better one. In some cases, the striving did
lead to better situations—and in some cases, it just clouded
my ability to be happy with my life as it was. Could you please
comment on this? Thank you, ~B.R., Portland, OR
Dear B.R.,
It is fair enough to want one's life to be better in certain ways.
Perhaps we want more money, comfort, education, travel, a spouse,
children, creative expression, a home of one's own. We dream of
all kinds of situations that we think will enhance our lives. Some
of our dreams do make our lives sparkle brighter, and some of our
dreams turn to nightmares, but as human animals we naturally have
desires. However, if your energy is spent simply chasing one desire
after another without satisfaction or deep appreciation for the
simple joys already in your life, then your experience is that of
perpetual insatiable hunger—a condition of suffering. Hold
lightly your dreams and reserve a good part of your daily awareness
for counting your blessings. That is the open secret for a creative
and happy life. ~Catherine
Dear Catherine,
I meditate regularly but I still struggle with stress. I seem to
get stressed very easily and I seem hyper and nervous to others.
I think I even make my dog nervous when I am in that state. I don't
drink caffeine and I try to use calming techniques that I have learned
over the years, but it is as though the stress comes on and floods
my body with chemicals that I can do nothing about. It doesn't seem
bad enough to get on anxiety medication, but sometimes I think it
will come to that. I have a good job and am able to concentrate
at work, but socially and the rest of the time, I am sort of a nervous
wreck. Any advice? ~B.H., Gresham, OR
Dear B.H.,
I assume your calming techniques include deep breathing, especially
on the exhale. That is a simple way that is known to lower stress
levels. In addition, it may be a good idea to get physical. Take
your dog for a walk along a river or in the woods and get your heart
rate up in a brisk stride. Try yoga. Get moving in ways that are
enjoyable for you. Stagnant energy is a hotbed for stress. One has
a tendency to sit around and think of oneself and potential problems.
And some of us are more wired for nervousness than others so we
need to compensate more in ways that induce our nervous system to
relax. It is good that you recognize a need for change in this regard.
Long term stress is dangerously unhealthy. ~Catherine
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